defination..

In this not-so-perfect life of her's, she doesn't mind a little change..

abyss..

So it all withered into nothing..

rewind..

Its often wished that she was younger, with less of adult problems/ discussions/ feelings to deal with..

again..

She can virtually see her life completing one of the few circles, she'd rather have a different ending..
Or does she..

wierd..

The importance of flow, movement or any kind of action is more than recognised right now..
At times the direction of the movement becomes irrelevant..

substitutes..

It is said that God made Moms beacuse he couldn't be present everywhere..
Its forgotten that Mom made sisters when she couldn't be present everywhere..

She got a mom and two sisters!!

questioning..

Intelligence, wit and humour usually come along with a bit of eccentricity..
She wonders why??

passage..

There is a moment/memory in each of our lives that makes one see through all the bad days, gives hope, helps you hang on..
She believes she got hers.

trap..

Bieng in the prensence of intelligent, witty people is enthralling..
Its easy getting addicted to their kinds.

soaring..

You lose that tiny ounce of respect you had for someone and it sets you free!!

bunch..

Surprise, happiness, joy, anger, confusion, irritation, love, longing, choosing, excitement, nervousness, lost, relieve, biwilderment, sympathy...
And thats all that the last week showed her!!

high..

Giving is the most rewarding feeling at times,
Especially when its to someone you love the most!!

rewind..

Its been playing in her mind, again and again, nonstop since she saw that movie..
She likes that song, pretty apt too!!

momentarily..

The wait isn't likely to end soon..
And when it does, the very end will have no meaning, nothing consequential.

Atleast that's what she hopes for!!

trance..

The reality had a dream-like feel to it,
Only if she could hold on to it just a little while longer..

stumbling..

People called her confused, not knowing what she wants,
For her its growing up, discovering what she wants..

mixed emotions..

..is what she's going through and its all so confusing!!

bliss..

Does ignoring a fact consistently, for a long period of time help one accept reality?

complexities..

Why is it so difficult to do the right thing, come out with the truth, face reality, explain the obvious, be practical, accept the facts, move on..

Would they??

blurred..

Que sera sera
Whatever will be, will be,
The future's not ours to see,
Que sera sera,
What will be, will be..

Everything pretty much is left to detiny.

vacillating...

The feeling was sad and wistful, yet a feeling of contentment, a happiness enveloped her..
Was it a dream or a nightmare that woke her up this morning??

pretensions..

The helpness she felt was overpowering..
She couldn't cry, laugh, be sad or happy,
Or the excess of emotion would be noticed!!

Its hard pretending at times..

mirror..

They often want others to be a reflection of their own personalities..
But are even manifestations that similar??

fantasy..

Can she go back in time and undo mistakes??
Could she say sorry without any words, gestures??
Can she go back in that moment and behave more mature??
Can she make someone understand what they mean and know that they know??

And she begins talking crap again!!

dreaming..

It is said that the best things in life are seen with eyes closed..
She shall sleep with that thought tonight..

to and fro..

A juxtaposition of feelings,
Of wanting the time to fly, change to happen.

And then the thought of people going away,
So soon, not yet..

Only if people would stay constant and not time..

praying..

Please please please please..
She so wishes for it to happen!!

enough..

Fear, loneliness, a sudden pain clouded her heart, mind and soul..
Would it EVER go away..

She so wished..

confession..

An affirmation of the known,
A reflected genuinity for once,
Trust and friendship..

She for once "believed"..
..or wanted to.

hope..

She wished she could stop hoping..
..hoping for "the signs" which probably would never show.

But an eternal optimist that she was..

summary..

"Ajeeb daastan hai ye,
Kahan shuru kahan khatam,
Ye manzilein hain kaun si,
Na woh samajh sake na hum.."

Pretty much defines the current state of her life..

stars..

The aircraft landed to the glittering city lights..
..like stars on earth..

She was awestruck by the beauty everytime,
Only this time she knew the lights in her own life shone better.